Queenie Baby: Pass the Eggnog Read online

  I sighed. "What about redemption and forgiveness? Jeez, Ashley, it's Christmas after all! It's not about cookies and carols. If you can't find enough Christmas spirit to give your own grandfather a chance, then maybe you'd better take a hard look at yourself."

  "Don't preach to me about Christmas spirit! You're the worst Grinch ever. You hate Christmas."

  She had me there. "Well, people can change. I may not like all the trappings of Christmas, but this trip has made me appreciate the magic of it, the way it puts people in a certain frame of mind." I found myself actually believing the words as I said them. Pretty incredible stuff for a humbug like me. "I'm glad we're here together. This was a great idea, Ashley," I said, offering her an olive branch.

  That seemed to mollify her. She took a sip of wine. "I'm not happy he's here, but he is our grandfather, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt."

  I felt her thawing, so I went in for the kill. "Think there's still time to watch White Christmas?"

  She smiled. "Of course, we'll just fast forward to all the good scenes. Wait 'til you see the dresses I found for us at the thrift shop today!" She clapped her hands together.

  "Can't wait," I mumbled under my breath as she hurried out of the kitchen to get the troops ready for the movie.

  I made a fresh batch of eggnog, adding a generous amount of rum, and grabbed another tray of cookies. Victoria must have elves baking for her at night.

  The gang was already situated in front of the TV. The Grands were clustered together swapping stories with Granddad. Aunt Pearl was keeping her distance, but I could tell she wasn't missing a word. Uncle Grover had just asked Granddad about how the house restoration compared with the old house.

  Kyle gave me a smile and patted the seat next to him on the sofa.

  "It don't look like it's changed much to me. Kind of weird coming back to the house years later and everything looking the same," Granddad replied.

  "You got rocks in your head!" Aunt Pearl snapped. "Victoria and Jake have done a great job updating this place. Why this house used to be so drafty, you couldn't light a candle."

  Granddad nodded. "Oh, they've made a lot of improvements. But I do miss a few things." He glanced in Aunt Pearl's direction. "Remember how you girls were always measuring yourselves in the doorway. Must've been a hundred marks." He laughed.

  Aunt Pearl acted like she didn't hear him, but I saw her eyes go to the doorway.

  "Can't rightly picture Pearl young," Granddaddy Hacker guffawed.

  "Shut your mouth, Hacker." Aunt Pearl gave him an evil look.

  "Oh, Pearl and Babs were quite the lookers," said Granddad.

  Granddaddy Hacker leaned over and put his hand to his ear. "They were hookers, you say?"

  It was Ashley's turn to chastise him. "Not nice, Granddaddy."

  "Is it like this all the time?" Kyle whispered.

  I raised my eyebrows. "No," I said, "usually it's worse."

  He laughed and patted my knee. Uh-oh, I thought looking at his hand. I didn't want him getting any "under the eaves" ideas.

  Granddad had a long, hacking coughing spell which drew concerned looks from everyone. "We'd all been playmates for years, but the first time I saw Babs in a fancy dress at a high school dance it was all over for me. She was like a bad little angel. All blond and pretty, with an ornery streak a mile wide. 'Member that time she brought a jug of your daddy's moonshine to the church social, Pearl?"

  For the first time, Pearl's lips turned up in a smile. "We were sick for a week after that." She shook her head at the memory. "Babs was something else. Always gettin' me in trouble."

  "Yep, fifty years, and not a day goes by that I don't miss her," he said sadly and turned to me. "I'm so glad you found me."

  "Me, too," my mom said from the doorway.

  Aunt Pearl got to her feet and held out her arms. My mom went to her and laid her head on her shoulder. "You always said family's family even if they're a bunch of knot-heads."

  Aunt Pearl sighed and released my mom. "Guess I did. Just never figured I'd have to see that knot-head again." She hooked a finger at Granddad. "But he seems like he mighta got some sense in his old age," she acknowledged grudgingly.

  They both looked at Granddad. He opened his arms, and my mom went to him, tears flowing. For about five minutes there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

  Then Granddaddy Hacker said, "Stop all this caterwaullin'! Aren't we supposed to be practicing for the play tomorrow?"

  My sister jumped into action, dimming the lights and cuing the movie. I blew my nose on a tissue Kyle handed me and took another gulp of eggnog.

  "Boy, there's never a dull moment with your family, is there?"

  I shook my head. "Never."

  "Okay, everyone. Attention please," Ashley commanded.

  "Oh, brother," I mumbled under my breath.

  "So just to recap, we are putting on a play tomorrow night showcasing several of the big musical numbers from White Christmas. Diana and I will be performing the 'Sisters' routine. Dan and Kyle will follow us immediately with the drag-version of the same song. Then Dan and I will perform the dance between Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen entitled 'The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing.' Next up will be The Grands performing 'Gee, I Wish I Was Back in the Army.'" She took a breath. "We'll end with a sing-a-long to 'White Christmas,' mimicking the closing scene of the movie. You will need to practice the dance numbers on your own this afternoon." She gave us all a stern look. "Because dress rehearsal's at seven tonight so we have time to make changes if needed. Any questions?"

  The General had spoken. We all knew to keep our mouths shut and just go along with her plans. Resistance was futile. A yawn escaped my mouth, and I leaned back in the sofa.

  "You really don't have to stay if you don't want to," I whispered to Kyle.

  He smiled. "Can't think of anywhere I'd rather be right now."

  I ignored his comment and focused my attention on the screen. I needed to tread very carefully with Kyle. I glanced around the room. My granddad was holding my mom's hand. Victoria and Jake were snuggled in a recliner meant for one. The fire crackled merrily in the grate. I felt a rush of Christmas spirit like I hadn't felt since I was a child. I turned my attention back to the screen and made a vow to put as much effort into this production as I did into a professional gig. I owed Ashley that much.

  Mammaw suddenly stood up and shuffled over to the staircase. I watched her warily out of the corner of my eye. What now?

  "Mother," my stepfather called, "come back and watch the movie."

  "Looks like the haints are talkin' to her again," Granddaddy Hacker observed.

  Ashley raised her eyes heavenward and put the film on pause.

  We were able to hear Mammaw say clearly, "Oh, my! Tomorrow. We'll be ready. Oh, yes, that's a fine idea. Three, really? How nice!"

  She shuffled back into the living room and took her seat like nothing had happened.

  She stared at the TV as though she'd already forgotten the conversation.

  We all stared at her. Granddaddy Hacker broke the silence. "Well what in tarnation did the haints want this time?"

  Mammaw looked confused. "Oh, um, well I really can't go into details. But I can tell you there are some lovely costumes that would be perfect for the play in the attic. I believe they're in a brown trunk."

  Victoria gasped. "How did she know that?"

  "The haints told her, didn't ya hear?" Granddaddy said loudly. "Now what's this about 'three'?"

  Mammaw smiled placidly. "There will be three Christmas miracles."

  We all stared at her for a few seconds.

  "How nice," Anne murmured, breaking the spell.

  My father raised his brows. "Guess we could use a few miracles around here."

  "Are there really old clothes in the attic, Victoria? We could use some more costumes. I only found a few things at the thrift store." Forget the miracles, Ashley wanted costumes for the play.

  "There's a lot of everything in the
attic. It's huge. We've never had the time to go through it all. It's worse since we did the bedroom renovation up there. But there is a brown trunk full of old clothes."

  "Can we go take a look?" Ashley asked excitedly. "I'll leave this on for everyone to watch, and the three of us could go." She indicated me. I made a face. I didn't really want to go tramping around in the creepy old attic on the advice of haints.

  "Of course," Victoria said, standing up.

  Kyle gave me a sympathetic smile as I rose to join them. "Holler if you need help," he said.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The unfinished attic was the stuff of horror movies. I felt like Nancy Drew investigating The Mystery of the 99 Steps as we climbed the narrow staircase.

  "We haven't been up here much since we did the remodel on the attic room last year," Victoria apologized as she turned the lock on the old wooden door. The door opened with a forlorn creak.

  The sun was low in the sky, and only a few beams made it through the dust-coated windows. A sea of discarded furniture, battered boxes, and curiosities lined the narrow walkway. Victoria switched on a large overhead fluorescent. The room was suddenly bathed in light. The creepiness receded, but the clutter was daunting.

  "I think the trunk Mammaw described is on the back wall." Victoria pointed to spot at the end of the long attic.

  A cobweb caught my hand as I steadied myself on a vanity table. Ick! Why are we doing this again? I asked myself. Oh, yeah, the ghosts told us to.

  As we reached the back wall, a large brown trunk came into view. Next to it was a plastic covered bassinet and several boxes marked "Baby." I saw Victoria glance at the bassinet.

  "That looks new," said Ashley.

  Victoria nodded sadly. "Not so new, but it's never been used."

  "I'm so sorry," Ashley replied.

  "We bought it the first time I was pregnant, back when we thought everything would be fine. There are boxes of clothes and supplies." She pointed to the baby boxes.

  "It will be fine, Victoria. You and Jake are going to be parents. I just know it," I said in a rush.

  "Thank you for the kind words, Diana," she replied, clearly not believing them.

  Ashley gave her a hug, and I patted her on the back.

  "Okay, ladies," Ashley said reaching for the trunk, "let's get to work here. We need some Christmas play costumes."

  The trunk opened with a screech. A pile of old clothes and hats appeared. Ashley pulled out a beautiful red velvet gown with a squeal. "It's perfect!" She held it to her chest and spun around, leaving a cloud of dust in her wake.

  I coughed and fanned the air.

  "I don't recall ever seeing that dress," Victoria said. "But I believe there are several old military uniforms in the bottom that would work for The Grands."

  I pulled out a stack of clothes. Ashley ooh-ed at the large feather fans that were in the pile. "These are just what we need for our 'Sisters' number."

  I shook my head. She was like a kid in a candy store.

  I found four army uniforms in varying sizes and an assortment of peripheral gear. "Looks like The Grands are covered."

  Ashley pulled out a huge black satin dinner jacket.

  "That looks like it'd fit a giant," I said.

  "Good, then there's a chance I can squish Dan into it." Ashley shook her head. I didn't blame her; Dan and Shrek had a lot in common.

  We found some set props among the furniture. Ashley called Kyle and Dan up to lug it all downstairs. "Careful!" Ashley warned as they carried down an old painted folding screen.

  Dan raised his eyebrows at me as he passed.

  "She's your wife," I pointed out.

  He knew better than to comment.

  "Is it happy hour yet?" Kyle asked as he passed.

  "Always!" I said with a laugh. "What'll you have?"

  "A beer and some place quiet?" he replied hopefully.

  "I think I can work that out." Inwardly I wasn't sure I wanted to.

  I followed Ashley and Victoria downstairs. Ashley couldn't stop gushing over the clothes. Victoria promised to help her wash and iron them before dinner. Ashley was on her way to work on The Grand's routine. She needed to catch them before nap time.

  "You and Kyle need to watch your scene and practice before dinner," she ordered.

  I made a face. "It's happy hour."

  "So drink and dance," she said. "It'll be just like any other day for you. You'll need the fans." She tossed me the bright blue feather fans.

  I rolled my eyes. My family was under the delusion that just because I was a working musician I lived a completely bohemian lifestyle, partying all night and sleeping all day. I headed to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of beers. Victoria and Kyle were busy prepping dinner, while Anne and my mom argued good-naturedly over the best way to make sweet potato pie, and my Dad and Dave played Scrabble. I ducked out before I could be roped into anything.

  I found Kyle sitting by the fireplace in the living room. "How'd you manage this?" I asked, indicating the empty living room.

  "I'm pretty sure the ghosts had something to do with it." He grinned. I handed him a beer.

  "So we've been ordered to practice the 'Sisters' routine. You'll be doing it in drag, of course."

  "Nice."

  I cued up the movie, and we watched the actresses perform the number. Then we watched Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby mimic the sisters. Hilarious.

  "I can't believe your sister talked me into this," Kyle remarked as he fluttered a fan in front of his face.

  "Yeah, she has a way about her." I cued the movie again, and we lip synced and mimicked the dance moves.

  Kyle was a good sport about it even if he wasn't the greatest dancer. We twirled and fluttered the fans, bumping into each other more often than not. The song ended, and Kyle spun me around to face him. I looked up at him and smiled.

  Uh-oh. There was that look again.

  And then his lips were on mine, and I didn't object for some strange reason. Maybe I was lonelier than I'd thought. Mark had been out of town for weeks, and before that I'd been on the road. Whatever the reason, Kyle took that as an all systems go. My systems were signaling mission fail.

  "Kyle Michael Johnson!" a voice shrieked. "Get your lips off that woman this instance!"

  Kyle pulled away from me and whipped around in surprise. "Lindsey?"

  Victoria and Jake stood behind the petite brunette, I'm sure wondering for the hundredth time why they ever agreed to host Christmas.

  "Yeah, your wife, remember?" she snapped.

  I glanced over at Kyle's dumb-founded face. "Thought you guys had been separated for a year?"

  "We have."

  Lindsey put her hands on her hips. "Just because we're separated doesn't mean you can make out with the first floozy you run into."

  "Hey!" I protested.

  Kyle stepped forward. "What are you doing here, Lindsey?"

  "Well, when Mabel called and told me you showed up at the post office actin' all friendly with some woman, I came right here. We're not divorced in the eyes of God or the state of Pennsylvania." She pointed her finger accusingly at Kyle's wide chest.

  The Grands peeked around the corner at the sound of raised voices.

  "What're you saying, Lindsey?" Kyle asked. I thought I heard a tremor in his voice.

  Lindsey looked confused. "I don't know what I'm saying. I just can't believe I turn my back for a minute and you're ready to move on."

  "It has been a year," I pointed out. Lindsey glared at me. "Not that there's anything going on between Kyle and me," I added hastily.

  "Really?" asked Kyle, looking hurt. "I kinda thought maybe with the kiss an' all there was something going on."

  I shook my head. "Sorry, Kyle. It was a nice kiss, but no fireworks. A girl's gotta have fireworks. And I have a boyfriend, remember?"

  Kyle nodded. "You're right." He turned to Lindsey. "I haven't had fireworks since you left, Lindsey."

  That just seemed to make Lindsey angrier. "Then wh
y the hell didn't you come an' get me?" she cried with a stamp of her foot.

  Kyle stuttered, "I-I thought you needed your space."

  "A year!" she cried. "I've waited a year for you to prove you really love me. All you had to do was come and take me home. But noooo…you're busy being Mr. Nice Guy and sniffing around other women."

  "So let me get this straight," I interrupted. "You've been hoping he'd come sweep you off your feet and take you home." I pointed to Lindsey. "And you've been trying to give her time to find herself."

  Kyle nodded.

  Lindsey crossed her arms over her chest and looked ready to cry. "Idiot!" she huffed at Kyle.

  Talk about your star-crossed lovers. Jeez.

  Mammaw shuffled over and tapped Kyle's shoulder. Oh, boy, here we go.

  Kyle leaned down, and she whispered something in his ear. "She said that?" he asked.

  Mammaw nodded.

  Kyle looked uncertain. "I'm not sure that's a good idea…"

  The lights flickered and went off. Oh, good grief! "Just do whatever she said so we don't have to sit in the dark all night," I urged.

  "Okay," Kyle said, and grabbed Lindsey around her waist and threw her over his shoulder.

  Lindsey shrieked like a scalded cat. "Put me down, you jerk!" She pounded on Kyle's back with her fists.

  The lights came back on with a flash. Kyle looked sheepishly back at us. "I guess I shoulda done this a year ago."

  "This was not what I had in mind! You could've gotten down on one knee and proclaimed your love for me."

  "I'm not sure you'da listened to me, Linds. Honestly, you never stop talkin' long enough to hear anything I say. Well, things are changing starting today." Kyle nodded to us as he reached for the door knob.

  Ashley came rushing from the kitchen. "Does this mean you won't be in the play?"

  I rolled my eyes. Talk about your one-track mind. Kyle turned around and in the process bumped Lindsey's head against the wall. "Put me down, you oaf!" she shrieked.

  "We'll be here," he replied firmly. "Shouldn't take more than this evening to work out our differences."